African Apocalypse

[Scene: A high-tech conference room in an undisclosed location. Solid Snake, African Union President Bkenyan Lewis, and Elon Musk sit around a sleek black table. A large screen displays maps of Africa, hunger statistics, and a bold figure: $7,000,000,000. Snake leans back in his chair, arms crossed, while Musk absentmindedly fidgets with his phone.]

Solid Snake:

Elon, let’s cut the crap. Seven billion dollars. That’s all it takes to feed Africa’s hungry. I’ve been in warzones where kids fight over scraps. Meanwhile, you’re over here talking about terraforming Mars.

Elon Musk: (not looking up)

Mars is the future. Humanity needs to be a multi-planetary species.

Bkenyan Lewis: (leaning forward, serious tone)

Africa is humanity. And right now, we don’t need escape plans. We need food. If you can fund rockets to colonize space, why not invest in keeping people alive here?

Elon Musk: (finally looking up, smirking)

So you’re saying I should take a break from building the future to fix the past?

Solid Snake: (gritting his teeth)

I’m saying that before we go anywhere, we should make sure the people here aren’t starving. You keep talking about a better world—how about starting with this one?

Bkenyan Lewis:

Imagine Africa not just surviving, but thriving. Seven billion isn’t a black hole—it’s an investment. Agriculture, infrastructure, clean energy. We’re not asking for handouts. We’re asking for vision.

Elon Musk: (tilting his head, considering it)

So… you’re saying Africa could be the model for sustainable living? A proving ground for the tech we’d need on Mars?

Solid Snake: (scoffs)

If that’s what it takes to keep your head down here instead of out there, sure.

Bkenyan Lewis: (nodding)

Think of it this way—before you feed aliens, let’s feed humans.

Elon Musk: (pausing, tapping fingers on the table)

Alright. Show me the plan. If it’s viable, I’ll back it.

[Snake and Bkenyan exchange glances—Musk might be a space case, but at least, for a moment, his head is back on Earth.]

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